


Did it for you Sammy

by spnfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean is twelve, Gen, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Kid Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam is eight, Slight fluff, almost starving, spanking (not a kink)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 22:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnfangirl/pseuds/spnfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John leaves on another hunt he forgets to leave his boys money for food. Dean does everything in his power to make sure Sam is not going to starve. When Dean resorts to stealing he gets in trouble by John, who returns early from his hunt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Did it for you Sammy

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE BE ADVISED THIS IS ABOUT THE BOYS STARVING. IT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE

Dean watched the door close and he let out a big sigh. His dad was gone on another hunting trip and said he would be gone for three days. Dean hated when his dad left for hunting trips. They were forced to stay in a crappy motel and wait for him to come back. They were only allowed to leave together and Dean had to bring both a gun and a knife with him. Over the years he had gotten better in hiding these from the people he passed on the street. He would tuck the gun in his belt and pull his shirt over it, and the knife would sit comfortably in his back pocket waiting to be used on the first monster they encounter. Dean listened to the roar of the impala from inside and soon enough the car was long gone. He turned to see his younger brother Sam resting on the bed and anger flared in his veins. His dad left in the middle of the night waking Dean to give him instructions but he didn’t bother waking Sam. Instead he kissed his sons forehead and practically bolted out the door. Dean looked around and slowly crawled into his dad’s bed. He usually shared a bed with Sam but beings his dad was gone he finally got a bed to himself. As he crawled into the covers he shivered in the cold room. He buried his head and took in the smell of his dad’s musk that lingered on the sheets before falling asleep.

“Dean? Deeean?” A small voice called as Dean rolled over and opened his eyes. His bones felt cold and heavy and he just wanted to sleep forever. “Ye-Yeah Sam?” He asked rubbing his eyes and looking at his eight year old brother who was shivering. “It’s cold in here. Where’s dad?” Dean hated this part the most. Sam had recently got mad because his father never woke him up to say goodbye. Usually Sam would wake and see his dad was gone. Dean knew it really hurt his younger brother because it made Sam feel unimportant. Dean frowned and sat up. The room was cold and the air was stale. “Gone on a hunting trip Sam, he kissed you goodnight but didn’t want to wake you.” Even though Sam was only eight years old he could sure pack a load of sass and that’s exactly what he did. “Great. Of course he didn’t want to wake me.” He grumbled throwing his hands in the air and rolling his eyes. Dean smiled and patted down his brothers bed head. “C’mon Sam I’ll see what dad left for groceries and make you some breakfast okay?” Sam slowly nodded and followed his brother to the kitchen.

Dean turned on the mini radio and the room filled with the sounds of AC/DC. He scrounged around in the fridge that was in the hotel room only to find a carton of eggs that only had three eggs left, bread that was going moldy, a can of soup and beer. “Great” Dean mumbled under his breath. He would for sure have to go shopping with Sam later on. Dean got out a small pan that their dad made them pack and began to crack the eggs. He opened the bread and salvaged three pieces before throwing the rest out. He hoped this would be able to fill his brother up. Sam sat on the small counter and watched Dean work. He had a red and black blanket wrapped around himself and was still shivering in the cold air. “Why don’t you go back in bed Sammy? I’ll come get you when its ready.” Sam nodded and hopped off the counter. He made a beeline for the bed and dove in. burying himself up to his nose in the soft sheets. Dean looked back at the eggs and frowned. He knew this would not be enough for the both of them.

They ate slowly and in silence. Sam had a large portion of the eggs and two pieces of the bread. Dean folded his bread and put the leftover eggs on it and made a sandwich. Sam was happily eating his food and commenting to Dean how good it was. He just smiled at his younger brother but Dean ate as much as he could very slowly. That was the one thing he hated about his dad going away on a hunt. Dean never knew where or when his next meal would come. Sam had nothing to worry about because Dean always made sure Sam was well fed and well taken care of. However there was really no one around to look out for Dean. Even his father never really did all that great of a job. As they finished breakfast Dean did the dishes and Sam watched cartoons.

It was one pm when Sam started to complain he wanted lunch. Dean had been hungry since eleven but didn’t dare say anything to his younger brother. He didn’t need Sam worrying about him. It was not Sam’s job to take care of him. Dean got up from reading his book on lore and walked to the counter where his dad usually left money. Heat rose in Dean’s cheeks and his stomach twisted in nervousness, or maybe just hunger. “Sam. Did you take the money dad left us?” Sam looked up from the TV and shook his head. “Sam.” Dean warned again. He began to move stuff around like the toaster and the papers that were lying on the counter but still no money. “No Dean I swear. Dad leaves the money to you remember?” Sam questioned as he got up and began to look as well. “It’s not anywhere.” Sam said in a small voice as he looked under the bed and frowned. “Sam are you sure you didn’t see it!” Dean asked in panic. He was frantically looking around the room for the forty dollars his dad usually left them. “Dean I didn’t see it honest!” Sam replied as he poked his head from under the fridge and his eyes were wide with worry. “Shit” Dean mumbled under his breath. Dad was in such a hurry to leave he probably forgot to leave them money for food. Dean sighed and gave up on the hunt for the money that wasn’t there. His stomach gave a low growl reminding him he was hungry and he took out his wallet and found ten dollars. “C’mon Sam I have ten dollars. Let’s go see what we can get.” Sam nodded and Dean began to suit up for the outside. Boots, mittens and hats for both of them and Dean carried the loaded gun and knife. When they got outside it was freezing and Dean knew the walk to the market was at least ten minutes. He grabbed his brother’s hand and they trudged through the blinding snow.

Sam ran in the motel room and bolted it to the shower. Both boys were covered head to toe in ice and snow and Dean let Sam warm up first. He put the scarce amount of food on the counter and sighed. He wished Sam was a normal kid who liked chips and candy. Instead Sam had to be a health nut and Dean knew his ten dollars could of gone further if Sam liked sugary and salty foods. With the money they had they purchased a head of lettuce, two bags of rice and three cans of soup. Dean still had a dollar left so he bought Sam some candy as a treat. Dean then took one can of soup and heat it up in the microwave. He gripped the counter and closed his eyes. He had felt dizzy the whole walk home from the lack of breakfast he had. He stumbled home and blamed it on the ice which seemed like a good enough explanation for Sam. Now that Dean was alone he took one piece of Sam’s candy and popped it in his mouth. Whatever the candy was it tasted like cherry and Dean savored every sugary grain that lay on top of it. He left it in his mouth for ten minutes before chewing down and trying to absorb every part of it. When the shower shut off Dean swallowed the candy and the soup beeped. He gave Sam way more than half of the portion and only took a little bit for himself. Every nerve in his body screamed for more food then what he was giving himself and he shook his head and brought the bowls to the table and began to eat slowly.

It was 4:53am and Dean was lying on his stomach trying to fill the emptiness. He had made Sam a nice bean salad and only gave himself three pieces of lettuce and a spoonful of beans. His stomach had stopped making noise which was nice but now it just felt heavy and empty. Dean was feeling more and more dizzy and lightheaded but he knew how to deal with it. This was not the first time this had happened and he knew that he just had to push through for another two days. He could do that. He knew how to space out his meals and how he should stay off his feet when the dizzying feeling came on. He even knew how to distract Sam when his younger brother began to question if Dean was okay. He decided to get up and at least eat something. He couldn’t sleep like this and it was driving him nuts. Dean patted to the freezer and took out a glass and filled it with 10 ice cubes. He then snuggled back in bed and chewed on the ice. As the ice melted on his tounge he drank in the cold water and sighed in pleasure. It tasted so good in his mouth and he chewed them all as slowly as possible. Wet cold water dripped down his chin and onto the sheets but he didn’t care. It just felt so good to be eating something and for it to be slightly filling him up. When he finished the glass his stomach felt slightly fuller. He smiled to himself and looked over at Sam who was peacefully sleeping, unaware of his brother chewing ice in the bed next to him. Dean then rolled over and fell into a blissful sleep.

By dinner on the second day they were all out of food as well as money. Sam had 37 cents and Dean had no money left at all. The fridge was bare and Dean was beginning to worry. Sam was complaining he was hungry but when he saw Dean’s pissed expression he shut up. Sam lay in the bed reading a book and trying to cough every time his stomach growled but it wasn’t working. Dean knew he could always steal some bread and peanut butter and they would eat like that for another day. However he didn’t know how to get away with it without Sam accusing him of stealing. He didn’t want his younger brother to see him like that. Times like this Dean really hated his father. How could he forget to leave his kids money for food and expect them to survive? Sure the boys had been given survival training since they were in diapers but this seemed a tad extreme. How was their father not arrested and thrown in jail for how he raised his sons. They never really had a chance of being normal kids since their mother died and Dean often liked to think about who he would be if he had grown up normal. He wondered what it would be like to wait for Sam to come out of school and for both of them to walk home together. Sam would have a blue backpack and talk about what he learned. Dean would laugh and they would come up to their house. John would be outside working on the impala and when they entered the house it would smell like cookies because Mary always liked to bake cookies and pies. Dean smiled at the thought of it all however underneath he was twisting in jealousy of anyone who had a perfect and normal life.

The freezer door opened and Dean looked up. He saw Sam get a glass and fill it with ice. Dean’s stomach dropped and he walked over to his brother and watched as he began to fill the cup more. “What are you doing?” Dean asked trying to hide the panic in his voice. His little brother was so hungry he was resorting to ice to fill himself up. Dean hung his head and felt embarrassment and shame in his heart. How could he let it get like this? He didn’t want his younger brother to have to chew ice because he was hungry. It was his job to protect Sam and make sure he was okay and he was failing. “Sam. I’m going to go out and get us food okay? But you-you can’t come with me this time.” Dean said struggling to find the words. He didn’t want Sam to starve but he also didn’t want his younger brother to witness his stealing. “Dean why not?” He asked in a small voice as he picked up an ice cube and it began to melt in-between his small fingers. “You-you just can’t Sammy okay. When I come back we’ll have food. I’ll try to get as much as I can okay but you have to stay here. No leaving alright?” Sam seemed to think it through before he nodded slowly and popped the ice cube in his mouth. Dean rushed to get his coat and hat and he ran back to Sam. “No leaving alright?” Sam nodded and questioned “What about dad? He doesn’t want me alone?” Dean shuttered at the consequences of his father finding out but he held his chin high and mustered as much courage as he could. “I’ll deal with him later Sam. Stay here okay?” Sam nodded and hugged his brother before Dean ran out into the snow to the supermarket again.

Struggling with holding the bread and peanut butter Dean tried to catch his breath as he slowed his running and hid behind a big dumpster. He of course got caught and made a run for it. He was lucky his dad taught him something about hiding from people because after ten minutes three workers from the supermarket seemed to have given up. Dean’s breath came out shallow and he felt so weak he could hardly stand. Hunger took over his body and he plopped on the snowy ground and willed the dizziness to go away. He had to get home to Sam before his brother starved. Dean stood up and the whole world seemed to be tilting in different directions. He gripped the bread and peanut butter tight and got to the hotel room fifteen minutes after. He made it. Dean actually made it! He would get inside and feed Sam until he was so full he couldn’t eat another bite. Then he would hug his brother and assure him that he would not let Sam get that hungry again. He was relieved and excited and adrenalin ran through his veins and he ran the last couple feet and opened the door. He had done it!

“Dean what the hell did you do?” A voice said and Dean looked up to see John sitting on a bed with Sam all tucked in. His father’s eyes were hard and he looked exhausted. “Got food for Sammy.” Dean answered promptly just as his father taught him. Sam smiled at Dean then quickly changed his expression to stone faced when his father looked his way. “How could you?” John asked as he ran his hands through his scruffy beard and scolded his eldest son. Dean felt disappointment wash over him. All he wanted was for Sam to not be hungry and to be satisfied and in doing that he failed his father. He just couldn’t win. Dean looked at the bread and peanut butter in his hands and took off his boots and shuffled over to Sam. His younger brother’s eyes widened as Dean handed them over and said “Here you go Sam.” Even though the room was stale and cold, the anger and disappointment from his father made the room feel like ninety nine degrees. “W-We ran out of food sir.” Dean said as he stepped back and took of his coat and hat. John shook his head and grabbed the food from Sam and went to the kitchen to make his youngest son a sandwich. “Did you pay for this?” John questioned as he lathered the bread, put it on a plate and handed it to Sam. “No sir.” Dean answered as he stared at the ground and forced himself not to cry. The guilt was twisting in his stomach and wrapping itself tightly around his ribcage. He gripped the table to stop the dizzying feeling from taking over and he blinked a couple times to steady himself.

“You stole food, left your brother alone and don’t know anything about fixing a heater?” John said as he put the knife in the sink and began to clean his gun on the small table. Dean slowly moved his way to sit next to Sam and his nose was filled with the unmistakeable peanut butter smell that was coming off Sam’s sandwich. His stomach kicked in want and hunger and Dean forced himself to ignore it. “Dad you forgot to leave us money for food.” Dean said trying to word it as nicely as possible. He knew what happened when his dad got angry and it was not pretty. Johns face was hard and he eyed both his sons before speaking again. His hands were moving swiftly on the gun cleaning it meticulously. “I did not forget Dean. The money was on the counter like always.” Sam swallowed and spoke up and Dean really wished he didn’t. “Dad it wasn’t there. Me and Dean looked. Honest.” Dean winced at his younger brother sticking up for him and his dad picked up another gun. This one was bigger and Dean swallowed hard. He felt like his mouth was full on peanut butter though that would be his brother’s mouth that had the luxurious taste of food. 

“Then you had to learn survival. When you get into a crunch you leave your brother and steal?! Dean I’m very disappointed in you. You know looking after Sammy is first! He could of died! Something could have gotten him. Jesus Dean you know this.” Dean stood up and anger rippled through him. “If you left us money I wouldn’t have to leave! I used my own ten dollars to buy Sam food but it didn’t last long so I had to go out again and steal it so we didn’t die of starvation!” John slammed his gun down on the table and Dean swallowed. Now he’d done it. John’s eyes were dark with fury and he walked up to Dean. “You don’t leave Sammy no matter what. You should have brought him.” Dean swallowed and spoke again. “I didn’t want him to s-see me steal.” Dean winced at the sentence and mentally kicked himself. His father had taught him if you stutter though a sentence it means you are weak. He had just given his father the upper hand in the argument. “You knew stealing was wrong and you did it anyway! You could have fed Sam and you could have had the ice. Sam is a growing boy Dean. He needs all he can get.” Sam stayed quiet on the bed and Dean felt his face flush in anger. “Dad it’s not healthy to chew ice.” He answered promptly. John waved Dean forward and he felt like his legs were blocks of ice. The air had gotten hotter in the motel and Dean longed to be a thousand miles away from here. ‘Pull down your pants. You know the punishment Dean.” John said in anger. Dean nodded and pulled down his pants and faced his brother. His cheeks flushed red as he saw Sam watching his father spanking him. He was supposed to be the older brother who looked after Sam. He failed in more ways than one and he deserved every minute of this.

*CRACK*  
“That’s for leaving Sam alone.”  
*CRACK*  
“That’s for stealing”  
*CRACK*  
“That’s for not following my rules!”

 

Tears streamed down Dean’s face as John smacked his butt. The blows felt like a thousand bee’s stinging him and he didn’t want to give his father the satisfaction of seeing him cry. Sam was sitting silent in the corner eating his sandwich and watching his brother get punished. Dean had failed. He had failed his dad and his brother and there was nothing he could do about it but accept it.

Dean pulled his pants up and turned to face John. His face was wet with tears and he was ashamed to let his father see him cry. “Now bed both of you. Tomorrow were leaving. Dean I expect you to pack everything up tonight so we can leave. Sam go to bed you are not helping your brother with this.” Both boys nodded and Dean grabbed the duffle bags and the impala keys and closed the door quietly. He saw his dad tucking Sam in and kissing his forehead from the window and slow silent tears slipped down his face. If he didn’t get Sam food his brother could starve and John would yell at him. So he did get the food and John yelled at him for leaving his brother alone. Dean just couldn’t win. 

 

He threw the duffle bags in the trunk and stared at them. Sam’s was faded red and Dean’s was a moss green color. He looked back inside to see John tucking Sam in then getting in his own bed. Dean knew he still had stuff to unpack but instead he sat on the roof of the impala and watched the stars. His breath was coming out in puffs and the stars seemed to be brighter tonight. He only had on a hat and mittens and he shivered in the cold. He let his thoughts wander to his life so far and he had suck anger for his dad he felt like he could throw something. How dare his dad not be proud of him! How dare his dad not care that both his sons almost starved. He thought chewing ice was healthy? How? How does that even make sense? A slow stream of tears fell down Dean’s cheeks and he didn’t wipe them away this time. He didn’t care who saw him cry. His life was a mess and he was only twelve years old. He shivered violently and rolled off the hood. The motel room was dark and both his dad and brother were asleep. He looked at Sam and smiled. His younger brother was snuggled deep in the covers with a small smile on his face. Dean prided himself in the fact his brother was not going to sleep hungry. He brought his hand up to his shoulder and patted it three times. “Good job Dean.” He said to himself in a small wavering voice before heading inside.


End file.
